Everyone in the British Isles Hates the United States

Well it's working folks. People in Northern Ireland, Republic of Ireland, Scotland, Wales, and England are united as one for the first time in history. And what do they hate? Oh no, not just FOX NEWS, no! Because of the brilliant plan as hatched by Rupert Murdoch, they HATE US, THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!

Have a listen. Even this child now hates us.



Accountability? Kid, that's right there's not an ounce of news. Sun News? Yeah, we've heard of it. Oh, Bollucks! You're going to tell us what Tom Paine was on about? Get real kid. Tom Paine is dead so we, get to use his name for whatever perverted purposes we want to. Hell his descendants don't even know they ARE his descendants.

Okay, so the real Tom Paine and I disagree with some things. Check it here.



The point is, again, duh?, who gives a shit what a bunch of dead guys said! Hell, I flunked history! That's not the point, the point is, can I say something with enough conviction to make a mob BELIEVE that I know what I am talking about and follow my word, no matter that it leads to ruin? Oh...hell...yes....I can!

Barack said yes, we can. But I say, yes I ME, MYSELF AND I, CAN! Uneducated people, motivated by a conservative agenda to squash education, shot like turds out of inadequate schools, HAVE NO IDEA as to the writings of the founders, so, HELL BABY, it's a field day. I (and I want you to listen to me really closely) JUST MAKE THIS SHIT UP AS I GO! YEAHHHH BOYEEEE! You like that?

Uncle Rupe has used this to his advantange. Here's another dissatisfied customer who is also a voicepiece over in England



Okay, so it has gotten so bad, our image, that some people (damned progressives!) are actually trying to stop the anti-American hatred.



Now, it's a good thing we have myself and Billo, to keep on hating us! Here, take a look at BIllo do his thing. He's no fuckin STATESMAN! What? You want Churchill? Get in a time-machine baby! Hah-hah! Oh man, the irony, right? Billo talking about other folks being affraid of armed conflict. I think once, Bill ducked out of a bar fight before anyone noticed. Hoo, boy! Didn't he challenge Lou Dobbs to a bitch slap contest once? Think he did. They both backed out. Man. Anyway, no one tops Bill in dissing intellectual Europeans. Watch him work.



Now, why does Rupe need the rest of the world to hate US? Our last, ally being Great Britain and them, now holding their noses? Because in order to have the rest of the world, not just terrorists support a war on America, we need more of our Schtik! Hell, Dumbass! why do you think Uncle Rupe broadcasts our nonsense over seas? Britain being our number 1 market, even though people have stopped advertising. Get it?

Why do we need to be attacked? Because everyone has had their turn and now its ours. An international consortium has drawn the lots and our number came up. Those of us who work here, will be saved. We will be rich, in fact. But cheer up, chances are it will go quick.

Shortly before Germany was reduced to rubble, Hitler gave a speech in which he rejoiced in Germany's isolation because it gave the Reich the excuse to attack the rest of the world!


We wish Obama would stop being an obstructionist to our plans to destroy the United States of America. We are almost there. By announcing the closing of Guantanamo he set our plans back. How carefully had producers and editors been conditioned over the years over in Europe to keep hitting on that key point that the United States is a nest of blood-thirsty toruturers! God! Obama! Could you just leave well enough alone! Jesus!

Well, coming up we have more elections for congress and Murdoch and all of us here will be pushing for the election of some good conservatives who are in on the game to bring our own country to its knees. We've got some chickenshit dems, Patrick Kennedy of Rhode Island, for instance, on the run. Others have dropped dead! Yeeehaw!

We are almost there.

Keep on partying tea baggers!

My Playbook: Hate, as a marketing tool

Here at the Confounding of America, I will give you a glance into the wonderful inner workings of my mind, so that you can see how I roll, when I want to smack down the Progressive Masses, screaming to take down this great country of ours!
First, wait. Did you see what I just did? I demonized all who don't agree with me, as Progressives, and went right into an ad-lib on what they are all about "tearing down this great country" and did you catch that last bit? "of ours" i.e not "theirs"
Don't you love that? You have no idea who the hell these people are and , fuck it all, I DON'T EVEN KNOW MYSELF but in two seconds you what? YOU ALREADY HATE THE HELL OUT OF THEM!
Isn't this great? Hooo, boy. Sometimes I kill myself. Isn't this fun?
Take this little ditty. Here, I get this guy on board who is hawking his book. He's gonna agree with me, no matter what I say. Yee Haw! Without clearly defining what a Progressive is, he and I work off of each other like Punch and Judy until you are furious at whoever these "progressives are" We don't mess with specifics? Hell no. It's just shzooom! Right in! Watch.



Ha! Ha!
You love that. Great part is, a "progressive" is whatever I want it to be at that moment. A progressive could be your mother for all I care. It could be Progressive Insurance, who gives a shit. I certainly don't. Now, having established that there's this thing called a "Progressive" that has been lurking in our country since the time of, well I don't know, let's find a corpse to wail on: hmnnnnn, there must be someone, some obscure figure from history that people know, but, don't really know well enough to argue the point with me? I got it. Let's say Woodrow Wilson. Right, we now show the country, that these evil ratlike creatures are really sort of like vermin, aren't they? Aren't you sick of this scum, they've been around since the damned Woodrow Wilson administration. What the hell ARE YOU DOING ABOUT THEM!

Now, it doesn't matter if a person defines themself as a progressive, I just did. Done. It doesn't matter if these folks hate the constitution or not, I just said they did on NATIONAL TELEVISION, I must be smart since I remember a thing or two about an obscure president from the early 20th Century so, wham bam thank you ma'am it must be true! Done. If you are a progressive as night follows day, you ALSO hate the Constitution. If you argue against this circular logic that makes you BOTH!

Hah. You want to know where I got THIS IDEA? Watching these guys.


Anyhoo, yeah, okees. Now that these ratlike creatures are conveniently seen lurking, like, EVERYWHERE, let's take it a step further. What is the one thing, the good American citizen is taught to defend with his life? No, that other thing, see? That other thing that Uncle Rupe wants us to actually change in little bitty incruments, so's you don't notice. Or he wants to change it all at once out of 'necessity' with societal breakdown, that we will have everything to do with. Yeah! Right! The Constitution! You got it. We need to change that bad boy so WE, that is Uncle Rupe and all his corporate chronies, RUN THIS BITCH!

But, we need the help of the Hapless Hayseed to do it! Meantime we want to make sure the Hapless Hayseed doesn't get mad at us, but at someone else. Now, who might that someone else be? Tee-hee. You got it! The PROGRESSIVES!
See, all this time, we've been edging up to it, by hinting that the sacred document needs to be (you love this?) updated with new language. Because nothing causes controversy and hate like our buddy God. Yes, we would like to tweak that bad boy constitution to reintroduce a narrow definition of the cosmic critter "back" into government, even though founding fathers wanted the institutions of church and state at arms length from each other. Even though it's pretty clean in the language of the First Amendment that our founders wanted freedom of religion, AND FREEDOM FROM RELIGION, nothing will piss the vermin off, if we attempt to blur that from our founding document.


By the way, watch this! It seems we can use that document to our advantage. When it comes to giving people in the District of Columbia voting rights to install an additional member into congress, whoa, watch me crawl all over the name of the sacred text as if it's the last Pepsi in the desert. Because, what are those people in the D.C. by-in-large? You got it, black like Marion Barry. Remember him! Can't have that, can we. NO sir, not if WE want to TAKE IT BACK from THEM!


See, if you get this separation dealio out of the way, and you institute a sort of nationalistic, quasi religious "mission" to being "American" you can really do something wonderful. You can unify those who agree with you under the terror of infinite conformity meltdown in a death spiral of one-upmanship. You can also terrorize those who don't agree with you. We know this group by the name Progresiffvolk. Where did we come up with a scheme like this. Well, history did have one example:


Wow! I call that one organized group! Don't you? If you watched his speech, you noticed that not once did he name the Jews. And really, history tells us it was about sparking worldwide conflict. From Adolf's POV, killing millions of Jews was collateral. If it hadn't been the Jews, it would have been the Irish. If not them, someone else. Didn't really matter to him.

Hey, we don't hate Jews on my program. The point is, we need an excuse to take over this country, the US of A. The "we" I speak of are Uncle Rupe and all his buddies in corporateland. Next we need "permission" as in changes to the constitution, to kick ass worldwide killing millions of people! Why? So Uncle Rupe's corporate chronies can get uber rich and so those of us who survive have a little more breathing room. Do we care if we blaspheme the name of the Jews, as we spark WWIII, by claiming to do this in their defence? Hell no. It's a whatever works, kinda deal. Get real. And it doesn't matter who dies, so long as it's someone else's kid.

All you dumbasses out there in television land have to do is keep watching, keep nodding and throw the switch the way we tell you to when it comes time to vote. Oh, and keep waving those signs! Keep on partying!

We'll do the rest.

Your good buddy, Glenn.