I've had another letter...
"Dear Feck,
"You think that if you can just keep dancing, no one will notice the puppet hand up you ass. Your gumbas are paying you well in an attempt to preserve the Bus(c)h-Cheney legacy for posterity. Stoking racial and nationalistic hatred might have worked for Hitler, but you have a problem this time around: some of us remember the second world war and why we fought it!
"You ever notice these nut-jobs in camo, blasting hatred out over the hamm radio and the internet always claim they didn't mean to incite violence after some poor bastard gets dragged behind a Chysler down a dirt road?"
"This is what you sound like Friday afternoon. You are a frothing, skid-marking lunatic.
Jackass, I have news: your schtik? It, will, not, work!"
Yet one more example of the Godless heathens out there, working in their basements to dethrone me. Well I have news for you, you little pinhead.
Nanny, nanny, boo-boo. Stick your head in doo-doo.
How about them apples?
PS, say hi to Aunt Susan for me.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
I'm going to read a letter from a concerned fan
This was a letter I received last Tuesday after our broadcast where I called a little old lady a pinhead, and a stupid moron.
"Dear Glenn;
I wanted to talk to you about some of the things I am hearing about you:
1. I am hearing that you are taking on unions and other so-called special interests because you are a "creature of big business" and you're too naive and ignorant of larger schemes working around to know you are being used by your bosses at Faux. I have heard they have strictly forbidden you from taking on other "special instrests" such as the insurance lobby, and the big oil lobby. Thus, you are both a dupe and a bully, in chosing the weaker of two targets, magnifying them in your lambasting speeches when the alternate foe would be a more courageous choice.
2. You are going after known science because you couldn't pass high school chemistry and you've never gotten over it. Aside from which, your innate schitzophreniclly-based conspiracies, which bubble like a witches brew, prevent you from calmly analyzing facts. When these facts run contrary to your beliefs you flee to your "safe place" i.e. the more esoteric, inane books of the ancient bible such as The Book of Revelations and the Book of Daniel. After all, why learn science when you have the imponderable at your disposal masking as wisdom?
3. I have also heard it told that what you are doing, knowingly or unknowingly, is acting as a hatchetman against the Obama administration on behalf of a consortium of big business, and in doing so, you are swindling your entire readership and listener-base of patriotic, well-meaning but educationally-challenged Americans. Those you will toss aside the minute your task is completed. That task is to either run for president as a "spoiler" candidate, ala Ross Perot, or to merely continue to stir the pot of fear and disunity in this country in the hopes that the current administration accomplishes nothing. In so doing you are also deflecting valid criticism and blame for our country's current predicaments, from where it needs to be placed - deregulation, rampant speculators, needless war, and greed all let loose during the Bush administration - and are attempting to place it all instead on the Obama administration. This, at the behest of your corporate task masters to whom you serve as a sort of soulless, grinning hand-puppet.
4. I find it curious you espouse Christian values yet repeatedly call people idiots, pinheads, morons, and stupid. You espose Christian values in one breath while exuding others to "crush" their opponents. I am familiar with the same New Testament that you often trumpet and I am pretty sure Jesus would have deplored guns if he were alive in the flesh today, and would certainly want people to have decent, affordable health care. I also feel relatively certain, Glenn, he would not approve of rampant weapons build-up of the previous administration which has, among other things, impoverished this country. None of this touches of course, on what he would make of your behavior, spewing fear and hate to a vast audience within the most powerful nation on earth.
Glenn, I know you went through a tough time as a child. I know much of that led you to a very strange place where pot and alcohol substituted for a meaningful parent figure. Like many a recovering addict, or drinker, you are swinging the other way; now playing the role of staunch conservative instead of living by the big book in the small, quiet spaces of your life, letting go and letting God, sort of thing. Like an addict headed toward relapse, you don't do this halfway; you do it to the point of obsessive self destruction.
Your loving aunt,
Edna Feck
P.S. Uncle Phil says hi."
Now, having read this letter, I have to say that even if this were alleged Aunt Edna, isn't it curious that she signed it "your loving aunt?" My aunt Edna never said that to me. I have to wonder who is REALLY behind this letter, and to this person, Aunt Edna or otherwise, I say "GET OFF MY SHOW! GET OFF MY SHOW YOU LITTLE PINHEAD!"
"Dear Glenn;
I wanted to talk to you about some of the things I am hearing about you:
1. I am hearing that you are taking on unions and other so-called special interests because you are a "creature of big business" and you're too naive and ignorant of larger schemes working around to know you are being used by your bosses at Faux. I have heard they have strictly forbidden you from taking on other "special instrests" such as the insurance lobby, and the big oil lobby. Thus, you are both a dupe and a bully, in chosing the weaker of two targets, magnifying them in your lambasting speeches when the alternate foe would be a more courageous choice.
2. You are going after known science because you couldn't pass high school chemistry and you've never gotten over it. Aside from which, your innate schitzophreniclly-based conspiracies, which bubble like a witches brew, prevent you from calmly analyzing facts. When these facts run contrary to your beliefs you flee to your "safe place" i.e. the more esoteric, inane books of the ancient bible such as The Book of Revelations and the Book of Daniel. After all, why learn science when you have the imponderable at your disposal masking as wisdom?
3. I have also heard it told that what you are doing, knowingly or unknowingly, is acting as a hatchetman against the Obama administration on behalf of a consortium of big business, and in doing so, you are swindling your entire readership and listener-base of patriotic, well-meaning but educationally-challenged Americans. Those you will toss aside the minute your task is completed. That task is to either run for president as a "spoiler" candidate, ala Ross Perot, or to merely continue to stir the pot of fear and disunity in this country in the hopes that the current administration accomplishes nothing. In so doing you are also deflecting valid criticism and blame for our country's current predicaments, from where it needs to be placed - deregulation, rampant speculators, needless war, and greed all let loose during the Bush administration - and are attempting to place it all instead on the Obama administration. This, at the behest of your corporate task masters to whom you serve as a sort of soulless, grinning hand-puppet.
4. I find it curious you espouse Christian values yet repeatedly call people idiots, pinheads, morons, and stupid. You espose Christian values in one breath while exuding others to "crush" their opponents. I am familiar with the same New Testament that you often trumpet and I am pretty sure Jesus would have deplored guns if he were alive in the flesh today, and would certainly want people to have decent, affordable health care. I also feel relatively certain, Glenn, he would not approve of rampant weapons build-up of the previous administration which has, among other things, impoverished this country. None of this touches of course, on what he would make of your behavior, spewing fear and hate to a vast audience within the most powerful nation on earth.
Glenn, I know you went through a tough time as a child. I know much of that led you to a very strange place where pot and alcohol substituted for a meaningful parent figure. Like many a recovering addict, or drinker, you are swinging the other way; now playing the role of staunch conservative instead of living by the big book in the small, quiet spaces of your life, letting go and letting God, sort of thing. Like an addict headed toward relapse, you don't do this halfway; you do it to the point of obsessive self destruction.
My main concern is, you seem bent on taking all of us down with you.
Your loving aunt,
Edna Feck
P.S. Uncle Phil says hi."
Now, having read this letter, I have to say that even if this were alleged Aunt Edna, isn't it curious that she signed it "your loving aunt?" My aunt Edna never said that to me. I have to wonder who is REALLY behind this letter, and to this person, Aunt Edna or otherwise, I say "GET OFF MY SHOW! GET OFF MY SHOW YOU LITTLE PINHEAD!"
Monday, December 7, 2009
SCIENCE-GATE FIASCO
Through a series of deft inquiries into things the way we do here at GF, we have uncovered a mass conspiracy dating back to the beginning of everything.
It seems that all modern thought has been based on the suppositions of whiny, unshaven, discreditable liberals and terrorists. You heard me. Terrorists!
More when we come back.
The so-called scientific method, something I like to call the scientific hysteria enema we are all now enjoying from Copenhagen, has been proven in a series of emails, to be false. Why? Because obviously this method is nothing more than a plot orchestrated by the very same terrorist we fought in Iraq are seeking in the mountains of Afghanistan.
And if you think I believe we should listen to this hogwash, I have some sweat-lodge time I'd like to offer you. Swallow the Kandujar koolaid and wise up, America.
Take a look at Ibn Al Hathyam. You love him? (Click on the black Box if the pic isn't there) Ole Ibn and his mates back in the 9th century sure must have thought t
hey were slick hiding in the distant past to come up with the method we know today as thesis, hypothesis, and resoultion through experimentation. AKA the scientific method, which is neither a method, nor very scientifical, WHICH IS THREATENING TO DESTROY OUR ECONOMY AND BRING ON WORLD COLLAPSE.
He was sooo slick he nearly got away with it, until ssssssomeone thought to put his face on the Iraqi ten dinar. Sometimes the answers hide in plain sight, don't they Barack? I just betcha Ibn has a friend, or relative being slapped around at Guantanamo doesn't he.
Case dismissed? I think so, but some may need some more proof.
The scientific method supposedly taught us that the world is 4.5 billion, not million, but billion years old, and not 6,000 years old as the good lord tells us.
Really, Barack. Is it. Were you here 4.5 BILLION years ago? No. So what good is the scientific method? The rocks that were "supposedly made" 4.5 billion years ago didn't exist yet because God hadn't molded them out of the universale clay, before he said "let there be light" so, how can all these so called experts expect me to believe they understand the forces which allow us to live and breathe?
Carbon dioxide causes global warming?
Really? I think its an excuse for OLIGARCHY and when they open the giant gymnasium where we all get indoctrinated, tagged, castrated by Nancy Pelosi and Hillary Clinton using a great big pair of pruning shears, I think someone is going to owe me an apology.
Hopefully, those of us who know better will be raptured by then. But until it happens, there's no harm in some of us getting our dollars up, is there?
More when we come back.
It seems that all modern thought has been based on the suppositions of whiny, unshaven, discreditable liberals and terrorists. You heard me. Terrorists!
More when we come back.
The so-called scientific method, something I like to call the scientific hysteria enema we are all now enjoying from Copenhagen, has been proven in a series of emails, to be false. Why? Because obviously this method is nothing more than a plot orchestrated by the very same terrorist we fought in Iraq are seeking in the mountains of Afghanistan.
And if you think I believe we should listen to this hogwash, I have some sweat-lodge time I'd like to offer you. Swallow the Kandujar koolaid and wise up, America.
Take a look at Ibn Al Hathyam. You love him? (Click on the black Box if the pic isn't there) Ole Ibn and his mates back in the 9th century sure must have thought t
hey were slick hiding in the distant past to come up with the method we know today as thesis, hypothesis, and resoultion through experimentation. AKA the scientific method, which is neither a method, nor very scientifical, WHICH IS THREATENING TO DESTROY OUR ECONOMY AND BRING ON WORLD COLLAPSE.He was sooo slick he nearly got away with it, until ssssssomeone thought to put his face on the Iraqi ten dinar. Sometimes the answers hide in plain sight, don't they Barack? I just betcha Ibn has a friend, or relative being slapped around at Guantanamo doesn't he.
Case dismissed? I think so, but some may need some more proof.
The scientific method supposedly taught us that the world is 4.5 billion, not million, but billion years old, and not 6,000 years old as the good lord tells us.
Really, Barack. Is it. Were you here 4.5 BILLION years ago? No. So what good is the scientific method? The rocks that were "supposedly made" 4.5 billion years ago didn't exist yet because God hadn't molded them out of the universale clay, before he said "let there be light" so, how can all these so called experts expect me to believe they understand the forces which allow us to live and breathe?
Carbon dioxide causes global warming?
Really? I think its an excuse for OLIGARCHY and when they open the giant gymnasium where we all get indoctrinated, tagged, castrated by Nancy Pelosi and Hillary Clinton using a great big pair of pruning shears, I think someone is going to owe me an apology.
Hopefully, those of us who know better will be raptured by then. But until it happens, there's no harm in some of us getting our dollars up, is there?
More when we come back.
Okay, so we've lost advertisers. WHATEVER!
Here at the FauxNEWS refounding we feel it only fair to tell you, some advertisers have like Elvis, left the building.
Okay, sometimes I come off like a jackass. Take this segment, just this afternoon.
Yes, we've had some set changes, and we're working on that but, we're like America. We're in reFOUNDING mode, and thus, things are going to be a little dicey while we undergo the weathering onslaught of attacks from our detractors, not to mention the basement blogger army of snivelling little whiny liberals on the internet.
More when we come back.
Okay, sometimes I come off like a jackass. Take this segment, just this afternoon.
Yes, we've had some set changes, and we're working on that but, we're like America. We're in reFOUNDING mode, and thus, things are going to be a little dicey while we undergo the weathering onslaught of attacks from our detractors, not to mention the basement blogger army of snivelling little whiny liberals on the internet.
More when we come back.
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